THERE ARE NO MORE SAUSAGES IN GALA: and other modern day economic grumble

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Do you remember back when there was a thin long slice of sausage in Gala. Or do you remember when you could buy a scotch egg that tasted like scotch eggs and not an egg coated in puff-puff? Have you eaten a meat pie from any fast food recently? They are stuffed with almost nothing but potatoes these days. In fact, it’s easier to win a lottery than to find a small piece of meat in your pie. This economy is useless. “Recession!”

I lived in the era when there was no 24 hour TV programming and so at 4pm when TV stations were starting I was patiently seated humming the National Anthem while waiting for SuperTed or Voltron to show. Life was good then? Wasn’t it? I remember not worrying about whether there would be electricity or not. It was just expected to have power at 4pm to watch my cartoons. And if there was no power, you could count your fingers and toes before the power is restored. I remember our neighbour, The Adegbayis had a generator. I thought they were freaking rich! Who had a generator in the early 90s? Life was good right? But the economy is on a steady decline and we are all going to die soon. Right?

It is funny how we blame the economy for everything and anything. It almost feels like it is the first time the economic state has been in a decline. You know, my father complained about the economy being worse than ever. I am sure his father did the same thing. And your father too. In 20 years time, I will probably talk about how the economy is at an all time low.

While we are focused on how bad things are, we forget about how good things have become. The power of focusing on the negatives! Psychologists have found that the loss of something is two to four times more painful than the joy of gaining the same thing. So we suffer small and then forget about the good things that are happening around us at the same time.

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Do you know that almost everyone in Nigeria have cell phones? In fact, 9 out of 10 people use cell phones in Nigeria. Years ago it was just the very privileged.

Do you remember when people used to ‘flash’ your phone so you could call back? How often does that happen now? It’s now so cheap to make a phone call.

Do you remember when N15000 would get you 5GB of data on Starcomms? Now accessing Facebook is free on some networks and Etisalat charges N2000 for 3.5GB of data.

Do you remember when Coca-cola was only served at birthday parties. It was only your rich uncle who had a bottle of Coke with his food after a casual lunch? Now, it’s no longer strange to see a regular bricklayer drinking a coke after a hard session of…bricklaying.

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It’s not even so difficult to look good. You can get nice t-shirts for N1500 at Ikeja Underbridge. Or you can wait till it’s dark to bend-down-select good pairs of shirts and pants at Ojota or Yaba bus stop. It won’t cost you up to N1000. If you’re shy, let me know I can do that for you.

Do you need good enough bootlegged shoes under N3000? “I have a guy”.

Hey, I’m not saying people are not suffering. There are people who can’t afford a bottle of water. There are people who can’t buy lunch and don’t see any hope of buying food for themselves anytime soon. In fact, someone called me last week who had just lost her N15000/month job. She lived at the office she worked so losing job meant she was now homeless. She would sleep anywhere and didn’t care but she called to ask for a N500 loan so she could buy a small stash of weed.

We blame the economy for our failures not realising that we should take full responsibilities for the choices we make it life.

You see, I’m broke. Probably in debt. I become so grateful when I remember that some people would rather have my brokeness and own the type of debts I owe.

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I may not be able to afford a meal tomorrow morning but I am confident I will be full after breakfast tomorrow. And I’m grateful.

My work is very hard, stresses me out most times and office politics is killing me. But when I think about it a second time, I conclude I have a better job than 80% of Nigerians and the office politics can be solved over drinks at an Afropolitan evening.

So complain about economy? No, I won’t! Should you? Hell no! The fact that you’re reading this article, you’re in a better place than 80% of Nigerians. In fact, if you want to be rich, there are 6 ways to be rich.

  1. You hustle your way to wealth. Gary Vee can tell you more about this.
  2. You steal like the many Nigerian politicians.
  3. You claim money as a Nigerian prince, if you already are.
  4. You become a Nigerian prince through emails.
  5. You become the prince of a deity — whichever one asks for sacrifices(mine does. This is the route I’m choosing)

The sixth would be to enjoy and appreciate good health. Visiting hospitals recently makes me realize I had many opportunities I missed out of life- and now that I’m still breathing, I have many more. The economy doesn’t affect my health. My health affects my entire economy. And the choices I make are what I accept and live by. That’s the way I see it, I guess that’s the way you should see it too. But then again, who am I to tell you what to think.

I started writing this article in my car on the Lekki-Ikoyi bridge. 6 years ago, I didn’t have a car. 2 years before the 6 years, I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life, a year before then I was messed up. Here I am, swimming in blessings, fortunate enough to have people who loved me and who I love. But I was grumbling over how GTBank keeps removing N65 from my empty bank account and how gala doesn’t have sausages any more.

Photo seen on Nairaland.com

Medium (Seye Kuyinu – Danfomatic)

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